Try Patsy Cline next time, grandma

I stopped at the old folks bar last night. I only stayed about twenty minutes. Why such a short visit?

Well, shortly after I arrived, an older lady, probably about 75 or more, got up to sing. This in itself is no big thing. Lots of older folks do karaoke at the old folks bar. It was the song selection that got me.

Most of the karaoke attempted at the old folks bar is country, with some older pop stuff sprinkled in for good measure.

The older lady had selected You Dropped a Bomb on Me, a 1982 release from the funk group The Gap Band that had reached #2 on the R&B charts back in the day.

I actually kinda like that song. Well, I did, before I heard this lady sing it. There was something about her old-lady, screachy, crackly voice which made it clear that this was not a good song selection for her. When she belted out, "You turn me out, you turn me on," I nearly broke out laughing. The sad part was, she was trying her best, it wasn't a gag song. Since it is uncool to laugh at karaoke when somebody is being serious about the karaoke effort, I felt I had to leave.

Here are the lyrics, just in case you don't recall them:

You were the girl that changed my world

You were the girl for me

You lit the fuse, I stand accused

You were the first for me

But you turned me out, baby

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me (But you turned me on, baby)

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me

You were my thrills, you were my pills

You dropped a bomb on me

You turn me out, you turn me on

You turned me loose, then you turned me wrong

You dropped a bomb on me (But you turned me out, baby)

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me

Just like Adam and Eve, said youd set me free

You took me to the sky, Id never been so high

You were my pills, you were my thrills

You were my hope, baby, you were my smoke

You dropped a bomb, hey, babe

You dropped a bomb on me (But you turned me out, baby)

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me (But you turned me on, baby)

You dropped a bomb on me (You dropped a bomb on me, baby)

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me

We were in motion, felt like an ocean

You were the girl for me

You were the first explosion, turned out to be corrosion

You were the first for me

But you turned me out, baby

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me (Whoa...whoa...oh...oh...baby)

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me (I wont forget what you done to me, babe)

You dropped a bomb on me

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me

I-I-II-I-I wont forget it

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me

You dropped a bomb on me, baby

You dropped a bomb on me

I-I-II-I-I wont forget it

You turned me out, you turned me on

And then you dropped me to the ground

You dropped a bomb on me.

And then you dropped me to the ground

You dropped a bomb on me

You turned me out, you turned me on

And then you dropped me to the ground

You dropped a bomb on me

You turned me out, then you turned me on

You dropped a bomb on me

You turned me out, then you turned me on

You dropped a bomb on me

You dropped a bomb on me

You turned me out, then you turned me on

You dropped a bomb on me

You dropped a bomb on me

You turned me out, then you turned me on

You dropped a bomb on me

You dropped a bomb on me

You turned me out, then you turned me on

You dropped a bomb on me

You turned me out, then you turned me on
You turned me out, then you turned me on
You turned me out, then you turned me on
You turned me out, you turned me on
I-I-II-I-I wont forget it
I-I-II-I-I wont forget it
You dropped a bomb on me, baby
You dropped a bomb on me, baby (Mmm)
You dropped a bomb on me, baby
You dropped a bomb on me, baby

Note to self: Once you get past the age of 70, do not attempt to sing any funk or rap tunes. It will make you look ridiculous, even more ridiculous than you normally look. You'll thank me later, older version of me. Now go and wrap those Christmas presents, just like an older person should.