Friday, October 21, 2011

I guess my smoke alarms ignore burning hot dogs

I took a nap earlier. As I awoke, I heard a faint crackling noise. Then I noticed a smell, like something was burning.

I flipped on the light. There was smoke filling the room. My still sleep-drunk brain tried to process what was going on.

I staggered through the house. The sound of crackling got louder. The smoke was getting thicker.

I got to the kitchen and flipped on the light. There on a burner was a cooking pot with smoke rolling out of it. I walked over and pulled the pot off the burner. There was a mass of burned something at the bottom of the pot.

I finally started to remember what had happened earlier.

I hadn't slept well the night before. I got maybe one or two hours sleep total. I struggled through my day at work and made my way home. I had some soup, turned on the TV, and watched the last hour of the weird movie District 9.

I was still hungry after eating my soup, so during a commercial break I decided to cook some hot dogs. I put some water and hot dogs in a cooking pot and placed it on a burner.

When the movie ended I was exhausted. I tried to watch the local news but I kept nodding off. I turned off the TV, lurched to my room, and crashed on the bed, all while the water in the cooking pot boiled away. At some point no water remained, and the hot dogs were burned into an unrecognizable mass.

So. I have multiple smoke alarms in my house which I test once a month. None of them sounded. Just how much smoke is needed for the alarms to sound? I tested them a couple minutes ago and they sounded.

I've burned food before and the smoke alarms have sounded. Are smoke alarms impervious to smoke from burning hot dogs? Are hot dogs so full of weird chemicals that when they burn their smoke is different from other burning food? If so, I may be in trouble. I eat hot dogs regularly. This may be the way I kick the bucket. Be alert for headlines regarding a dude dying in a hot dog fire. If I don't post within a week or two after that, you'll know it was me.

0 comments: