Old Dogs

I was flipping through the little neighborhood newspaper I get once a week, when I noticed the following blurb:

The Madison Township Fire Dept, and Sparky the Fire Dog say, "Keep gasoline and kerosene in approved containers."

First, I hope folks keep gas and kerosene in gas cans or jugs designed for such purposes. Do many folks keep gasoline in coffee mugs or paper cups? Maybe they do. Shame on them.

Second, I was surprised that Sparky the Fire Dog could speak. That is nice. Someone should contact Guinness.

Third, with all the budget shortages small governments are having, I was surprised to learn that my local fire department could afford a dog. Are my tax dollars going towards dog food to feed Sparky? I protest.

Then I found out Sparky the Fire Dog is the official mascot of the National Fire Protection Association, and Sparky turned 60 last year. I've never heard of a dog being that old... another reason to call Guinness.

Plan B, where are you?

Last weekend was the worst weekend I've had in quite some time. I followed that up with the worst week at work I've had in years. It seems that every phase of my life has gone into the crapper.

I don't know if I've discussed my Plan B mode here before. It is where I trash everything and start over. New city. New job. New name. New everything. A complete redo, if you will. 

I have Plan B in my head right now, but I know it isn't realistic. I'm stuck where I am, and I don't have any options. It is such a great feeling... not.

I just hope that I can stop this freefall from getting worse.  

Is this how older women make a pass?

So I went to the old folks bar last night.

I had visited my Dad earlier in the day, and was tired. But it was a rough visit. I felt the need to have a drink and put it behind me.

I got to the bar shortly after 9pm, and the place was packed. Usually, the place is kind of dead on Saturday nights. Friday night is normally when the larger crowds gather there. Maybe that is the night they pass out free samples of Geritol or something.

I found a seat at the bar, got a beer, and did a couple karaoke tunes. I didn't do all that well since it had been about two months since my last karaoke effort.

I was considering heading home when some chick sat beside me. I had talked to this woman before back in November. She was probably ten years older than me, but I'm not sure. I remembered her name and I started some conversation.

After about twenty minutes of standard small talk, this woman launched into a detailed account of her current situation. She placed her hand on my back and then my shoulder. I was thinking perhaps this might lead to some kind of encounter later.

That is when it happened... she started telling me about her upcoming hysterectomy.

Really? Is this how older women make a pass? If so, then I don't care for that approach. It kind of killed the mood.

I made my way home, watched some TV, and went to bed. Just another exciting Saturday night for Surly Scott.

Closet find / I bought this?

So I've been working on renovating a closet over the last couple weeks. It has been more of a pain than I expected.

When I started this project, I removed a box from the closet and placed it in the basement. I used to have a bunch of movies on VHS. About ten years ago I sold most of them. The ones I couldn't sell were in the box I mentioned earlier.

Well, last night I was looking for something in the basement. I took a quick look in the box I had recently moved from the closet upstairs. Right on top was a VHS copy of the goofy movie Corky Romano.

I was a bit stunned. I actually bought this movie? I couldn't believe it.

I suppose if somebody was bedridden and had nothing better to do, watching Corky Romano might not be the worst alternative in the world. Maybe.

I do like Chris Kattan, but for his TV work (SNL, The Middle), not for his movie work.

Like I mentioned earlier, the VHS movies I couldn't sell ten years ago were in this box. If I actually bought Corky Romano, which I must've, then it is no surprise to me that I couldn't later sell it.

I think I still have a VCR someplace, but my DVD player is actually one of those dual DVD/VHS machines. Perhaps I'll pop in Corky Romano one of these evenings and go down memory lane. No I won't, but I might sift through that box to see if there is anything in there worth watching.  

I Ching on my romantic future

Since Valentine's Day is almost upon us, I thought I'd check in on my buddy I Ching to see what his thoughts are regarding my romantic future.

I'm guessing that there is a 75% chance that the reading I get will have little to do with romance. It will likely be something like, "Be careful not to anger the prince because he is guarded by many men with swords," or "Be sure to hold the arrow steady when hunting the hawk."  

That is the kind of sage advice I Ching likes to dole out.

So here goes. I've pulled a card at random. The card is Denying - Be wary of joining. Um, yes. As a matter of principle, I am not a joiner. But it seems the romance thing requires an exception be made in that case. Whatever; it doesn't sound good as far as my romantic future goes.

I performed the three coin toss. Here is the associated reading:

This is unfavorable for an evil person pretending to be kind and good. In big and small matters you will see big goings and small comings.

Is I Ching saying I am an evil person? I'm never sure with these readings. But again, it doesn't sound good for my romantic future, or my non-romantic future for that matter. Big goings and small comings? Great. 

Here is the explanation of the reading:

Be alert to pretenders and negative people. Take a sober "wait and see" attitude, and consciously avoid bad habits and addictions of any kind. This oracle will reinforce a person who wakes up to rectify past mistakes and who is also cautious about what is happening right at this moment. Whether in big or small matters, allow time and space and avoid jumping to conclusions. Time will tell, so take it easy. Things could go in either direction, and too much insistence now may ruin things. Each side must struggle in its own way.

Hmmm. I am to be alert to pretenders and negative people. Everyone I meet is a pretender in some way, and most are negative (I am too). I am also to avoid bad habits of any kind. I haven't been out to a bar since December, but I was thinking next weekend I might go out and have a beer. It seems I Ching doesn't want me to do that. How am I supposed to meet people, I Ching? The online dating thing doesn't work. Also, I don't like to rectify past mistakes right after waking up. To me, that kind of thing is more an evening task. I Ching expects too much of me, that is for certain.

On the other hand, I Ching advises to "take it easy," which is always my kind of advice, plus it was a decent Eagles tune. Also, I Ching does say things could go in either direction, so maybe there is still hope for my romantic future. Thanks, I Ching. I needed to still have a glimmer of hope.

Almost legal

Today I fired up my old Pontiac for the first time since last November. It was a nice day here in Central Ohio, as the sun was out, there was almost no wind, and the temp approached 50 degrees.

I backed the car out of the garage and let it run for a while. I filled the power steering pump, which has a moderate leak. I checked the transmission fluid level, and visually assessed the tire inflation. I checked the turn signals. I had checked the oil and coolant levels before starting the car. The gas gauge registered a little under a half tank. The car seemed to be running okay, and everything seemed to working.

I closed the hood, got in the car, and backed it out of the driveway, onto the street. I put the Pontiac in drive and started moving forward. Some dudes were gathering at a house across the street, probably to watch the Super Bowl later. They stopped their gabbing and watched as my old Pontiac rumbled slowly past.

I had planned to drive around the block, and maybe go further only if the Pontiac was running well. I tooled around the block, and waved to some folks. The Pontiac was running okay, so I decided to drive it a few miles more.

I pulled onto a busy street and accelerated. All systems go. I motored along at about 40mph for about a mile. Then I hit a bump in the road and the hood popped open. This happened the last time I drove the Pontiac back in November, so I guess it is something I'll have to investigate.

Anyway, I slowed down and pulled off the road onto an apartment complex parking lot. I slammed the hood closed, got back in the car, and decided to head for home.

I pulled back on the street and got back up to around 40mph. That's when I saw the cop behind me. I wasn't speeding since the speed limit on this road was 45mph, but because I was driving an old clunker the cop was paying particular attention to me. Also, since my car has only lap seatbelts, I figured the cop would pull me over since he couldn't see that I was wearing my seatbelt.

Initially, I thought to myself that I didn't have anything to worry about. The lap belts were original equipment back when this car rolled off the line, and according to State law, as long as it has the original safety equipment, I don't need to upgrade to the standards for newer cars. The Pontiac was properly licensed and insured, so go ahead copper, check me out.

But then I thought about it for a moment more. There were various things on the car that were probably not completely street legal. The exhaust, which is on the list of things to replace this year, is kinda loud. The parking brake isn't functional. I'm sure there are other things that aren't up to code too.

I pulled off the main street onto a side street that leads to my house. The cop followed. I turned onto my street. The cop followed. I pulled onto my driveway. The cop stopped, watched as I pulled into my garage, and then he continued on his way.

The scofflaw escaped again.

What is the deal with real estate agents?

I've not had a good history with real estate agents.

Back in 2001, I recall looking around at area houses. I called about a few places that struck my fancy, only to have the real estate agents mostly ignore me. I think I made about five or six inquiries back then, and only got one response.

In 2004 and 2005, I recall being interested in a few more places, but the real estate agents again mostly ignored me. There were two instances during this period where I had actually set an appointment to look at a property, only to have the real estate agent never show up. One time when I called one of these agents and asked where he was, he said, "I'm busy." Thanks for wasting my time, jerk.

Only in late 2006, when I foolishly stumbled upon my current abode, did the real estate agent I contacted seem interested in making a sale.

Those previous interactions were all made when the real estate market was doing well. Agents could ignore potential prospects because other buyers were climbing out of the woodwork. It was a seller's market.

Flash forward a few years. The real estate market has taken a tumble. Home values are significantly less than what they were before. It is a buyer's market. I would think potential buyers would be something today's real estate agents could not afford to ignore.

If I thought that, then I was wrong.

At the end of last month, I noticed a property a few miles from where I live. It was out in the country. There was once a house there but it was gone now, but there was still a three car garage on the property.

I've been searching for some local storage space, plus it might be a good spot to build a new home in a few years, after I get my current place in the condition where I might be able to sell.

There was a "For Sale" sign in the yard with a real estate agent's name and number. I took it down. I got online and searched for the property in the MLS listings. It wasn't there. I found the real estate agent's website and sent an email asking about the property. Two weeks passed and I got no response.

I got online again and submitted an information request through her agency's website. Another week passed and I got no response.

I drove past the property, and there was another sign in the yard which exclaimed there was a "New Price" on the place. I left a voicemail for the real estate agent asking for information. That was two weeks ago, and I have yet to get any response.

I drove by the property last week. The "For Sale" signage was still there. I got online and it was still not in the MLS listings. I found the owner of the property. I considered contacting them to get information, but that is why they have real estate agent... to dole out info. I thought they might like to know that their real estate agent was ignoring potential buyers, but I don't know the whole story, plus I'd be invading their privacy.

I drove by the property again today. The "For Sale" and "New Price" signage was still there. After rejecting the idea of making an in-person stop at the real estate agent's office, I think I finally have accepted the fact that I will never own this property. They would probably want to much for it anyway. It just bugs me how real estate agents operate. If I acted as unprofessional as they seem, I'd be unemployed in less than a week.